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ADHD for Women

staceyktherapy

It's harder to diagnose ADHD in women than in men. Here are a few reasons why. Women present differently than men. Women are more likely to mask symptoms, have developed 'workarounds'. or have systems in place making it harder to recognize. ADHDer's often have friends who also have ADHD (without realizing it) and this can allow symptoms and behaviors to be normalized or overlooked. Additionally, our 'assessment tools' for diagnosing ADHD are normed to men or boys (STILL!) and not specific enough (IMO) for it to relate to women with ADHD. So, they might take an ADHD assessment and feel like it doesn't relate or fit their symptoms, or see a male friend or sibling with ADHD and see how different it looks, and make a determination for themselves based on that alone.


This is unfortunate, because these women often then determine it's some character flaw or imperfection in themselves, which can create even more anxiety or shame, and then don't get the tools, understanding. or even accommodations they need (and deserve), making life just that much more challenging or difficult. Women are also more prone to anxiety (for a variety of reasons), and this anxiety can also 'be louder' than the ADHD (depression can be louder at times as well) so the ADHD is humming along in the background not fully recognized. If anxiety medication is taken or the anxiety or depression quiets down, this can allow for the ADHD symptoms to be more noticeable. They were there all along, the anxiety or depression were just more in the forefront.


For me personally, anxiety masked a great deal of my ADHD symptoms making it nearly impossible for me to see them/it until I was way past college age. I had many systems in place that helped me 'function', and even function on a fairly high level, not even realizing the 'need' for these systems to begin with were the symptoms themselves. And if you go to a prescriber or someone who can 'formally' diagnose ADHD and they tell you you don't have it because you're not 12, did 'too well' in school, or are in any way 'too high functioning', find a different prescriber. Find someone who understands what ADHD looks in women. I have clients who have RECENTLY been told these things and it's not OK.


A couple of other tidbits often overlooked for women with ADHD:

  • Symptoms can exacerbate according to our hormone fluctuations (low estrogen decreases dopamine which worsens ADHD symptoms particularly during menopause, for example)

  • We're more prone to bingeing or addiction disorders (food, alcohol, shopping, drugs, etc) - this is dopamine seeking but is also tied to 'all or nothing' patterns (we might skip meals during the day - that's too distracting! - then 'binge' later in the evening for example)

  • Our 'fidgeting' is more in our heads whereas for boys/men it's more noticeable (this can feel like constant 'mental chatter' or rumination)

  • Things get what I call 'itchy': relationships, wardrobes, friends, the furniture arrangement, our homes, the town or state we live in, our jobs, our careers, our hobbies, it all starts to feel 'boring' or 'stale' and we get an 'itch' to make changes (sometimes impulsively) (to be fair, this one also applies to men with ADHD). Google ADHD and 'Nomads' and read about how this was likely a survival advantage and soak in the validation that you ARE NOT flawed!


A couple of things to keep in mind (approximately):

  • 80% will have a co-occurring condition (dyslexia, oppositional defiance disorder/demand avoidance, rejection sensitivity, etc)

  • 60% have sleep disorders (circadian issues. 'light sleeper', etc)

  • 75% have learning disabilities (dyslexia, etc)

  • Most have some type of sensory or sensory processing issues (foods, lights, sounds, etc)

  • 50-60% have anxiety and/or depression

  • 40% have mood disorders (this can often be a persistent irritability)

  • 40% have hoarding disorder or tendencies

  • 50% will likely have autism or autistic tendencies and 75-80% of autistics will also have ADHD


We also have lots of superpowers! It isn't all negative! If you suspect you may have ADHD and want to get more information or get (informally) assessed, reach out and make an appointment! Just feeling validated and understood can go a long way towards reducing shame, and increasing compassion and acceptance towards yourself.



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